Tonight’s First Dates was a rollercoaster of emotions, and the best in Series 7 so far. Even the waiter ended up bagging himself a date.
Kriss and Ruby
First up was personal trainer Kriss, 26 and from Watford. His physique means he often attracts the wrong kind of girl. Could trainee beauty therapist Ruby, 18 and from Enfield, be the right one for him?
Ruby’s problem is that she’s often considered high maintenance, but she assures us she’s not. Although she loves a man suited and booted, she also has just as much respect for men in tracksuits too. Nerving Kriss a bit, as he’d come dressed in neither.
Ruby says she isn’t high maintenance #firstdates pic.twitter.com/HDqwrErje3
— Jono Read (@jonoread) October 3, 2016
It looks like the drinks had got to Ruby even before the dates had started. She tried to order chicken nuggets, and she was struggling to understand Kriss’ profession as a Personal Trainer. She even struggled with the concept of ribs coming from a cow.
This is actually Ruby. Chicken nuggets! #firstdates pic.twitter.com/h8KALLX9lI
— Jono Read (@jonoread) October 3, 2016
Despite Kriss’ tough exterior he had a softer and more sensitive side. As well as having nerves before Ruby arrived, he was panicking that his date wouldn’t like him throughout. This was in part down to the fact one of his last girlfriends had been seeing someone else while they were dating – for a whole year in fact.
Ruby, on the other hand, was struggling to keep up with how many men she had dated. Was it 27, 40, or 60? She put that down to the fact very few were commital, and was sick of being treated like rubbish. She explained she had “been there, got the t-shirt, and shreaded the t-shirt”.
As it turned out, Kriss was worried about the age gap between the two. Ruby, on the other hand, had decided by the end of the date a ‘fuck boy’ was just what she was looking for. Surely she didn’t need First Dates for that, that’s what Tinder is for. Nonetheless I’m sure both will be getting a variety of attention after appearing on tonight’s show.
Patricia and Alan
Retired secretary Patricia from Hertfordshire was the second female through the First Dates restaurant doors tonight. Her working days are over, but she’s only just getting started on her love life. At eighty she was incredibly sassy. She proclaimed she was “up for it” and was tired of her Ann Summers collection (I hope any grandchildren she might have aren’t watching at this point).
Her date was 82-year-old tennis coach Alan who has travelled up from Hove. He’s certainly up for it too. His week consists of going to the gym and playing tennis (except on Wednesdays when he watches television).
Alan is like an olden day Craig David. Gym on Monday, tennis on Tuesday, and watching television on Wednesday. #firstdates #7days pic.twitter.com/9UUWB8xMPv
— Jono Read (@jonoread) October 3, 2016
Patricia has a bucket list. She had sent one up after losing her husband to cancer. In an upsetting recounting of the story, she explained how she’d found out about her husband’s diagnosis only when I was too late. As she pointed out, you never know what’s around the corner in life, so it was why she was setting up her bucket list.
As it so happened, Alan’s life had been marred by tragedy too. He had lost his wife seven years ago to another of life’s cruel illnesses, dementia, which she developed when young. His son had died in his early 30s from a brain haemorrhage, only adding to the heartbreak.
The pair bonded over the way they were tackling life. In perhaps one of the most inspiring scenes I’ve witnessed on First Dates they toasted life, and the idea of living life to the full. Their message was a powerful one to all watching, that we shouldn’t lose grip on the opportunities life can bring us.
Patricia and Alan on #firstdates are life goals. “Life isn’t a practice run… Live life to the full”. I’ll drink to that too. pic.twitter.com/V3n1orrqQd
— Jono Read (@jonoread) October 3, 2016
Unsurprisingly after such deep philosophical insights, and a laugh or two along the way, they were up for seeing each other again. The pair decided to meet up for a game of tennis, which I assume took place on a Tuesday. We know Alan spends Wednesday night in front of the telly, but he might have made an exception for Patricia.
The two are said to have got on well after their second date, so fingers crossed they continue to hit it off. If you’re reading I’d love an update!
Nikki and Darren
37-year-old Nikki is an expert in managing teams, especially in the insurance industry, but not so good at managing to bag a date. She seems to have been single for an eternity, or at least fourteen years. She’s looking for someone energetic and cheeky in tonight’s episode.
Step forward Darren, 41, from Welling. A deputy manager, this time for an electrical retailer. He certainly provided cheekiness, but most of his energy was put into watch television series. He’s currently trying to balance twenty-eight, which is what the single life does to you. I can vouch for that, I signed up for Netflix.
That’s not a huge problem for Nikki tonight though. Her typical night involves Sky+ HD and a Dominos. After sitting down together the pair were soon taking it in turn to reel off their favourite series, much to the excitement of one another.
Nights in eating Dominos and watching Sky+? PREACH 👐🏻 #firstdates pic.twitter.com/3n1Nz8rQfc
— Jono Read (@jonoread) October 3, 2016
Nikki can’t understand why the right person so far hadn’t popped up in her life. Darren, meanwhile, had been in a committed relationship until it started to go a bit pear-shaped. It later transpired his girlfriend had slept with someone else. Ever since he had been stuck in a rut, and as The Darkness would sing, he didn’t know his way out of it.
Darren was smitten with Nikki. So much so that he’d paid for the whole bill while was in the toilet. In a huge plot twist though Nikki’s gut feeling was telling her that she didn’t fancy him, and couldn’t go on another date, despite having a lovely evening with him. She wasn’t going to settle for someone who couldn’t provide that spark. I couldn’t help thinking that she might regret that when she’s making a Dominos order for one.
Oh come on, Nikki! You and Darren seemed so perfect together! *Sigh* #firstdates pic.twitter.com/7ecM5X4uMP
— Jono Read (@jonoread) October 3, 2016
Claudia and Emelia
At last we had two girls dating in the restaurant tonight. Regular viewers will have noticed an absence of them in this series, but it was worth the wait for tonight’s pairing. Claudia, 22, from Bristol was flying the red flag for lefties everywhere. She was looking for a partner in crime, someone who could help her save the world. So Emelia seemed the ideal candidate as a political activist and feminist, looking for her Princess Charming. Within minutes they were swapping glitter – ensuring the sparkle was there from the very beginning.
They were on good form together, both fangirling over Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn and both ditching their bras for tonight’s date.
The Menstrual Cramps. Turns out their greatest hits like “Cull The Tories” & “Hashtag Sad Penis” have been banned from YouTube #firstdates 😂 pic.twitter.com/e3YYDyffr3
— Jono Read (@jonoread) October 3, 2016
Emilia is in a Riot Grrrl band, entitled The Menstrual Cramps. It turns out their songs were on YouTube but their greatest hits including ‘Cull The Tories’, ‘Hashtag Sad Penis’ and ‘My Bush Ain’t Your Business’ sadly violated the site’s Terms and Conditions. Nevertheless you can listen to their music on Soundcloud by following this link.
have been incredibly surprising if the two hadn’t agreed to meet again. The night was young though and the two carried on enjoying themselves in Camden, right through until the very next morning.
Let’s hope the two can continue to save the world together – there’s a lot that needs fixing right now.
Jonas and Milly
Finally Lithuanian app designer Jonas, 28, from London is a regular to the dating scene. He claims to have completed Tinder, which is pretty impressive in a bustling city like London, but perhaps he knows a trick or two about the coding.
So what was he looking for from the First Dates restaurant? Ideally a very beautiful girl (aren’t we all) who is an 8, a 9, or a 10. So did girl of privilege Milly, 28 from London, tick all the boxes?
Despite falling into the toff category Milly was not looking for one herself. She claims to have dated people from council estates, she doesn’t mind a player, or someone who defines themselves as a cheeky chappy. She wanted someone good looking, and funny too.
Jonas seemed to fit that criteria on paper, although I did question how funny the one-liners were. After all, in his opening conversation he revealed he was a cricket fan until he “discovered gin and masturbation”. A messy combination.
#GinandMasturbation. I wonder whether he listed that on his application form? #firstdates pic.twitter.com/VCTOKEXohT
— Jono Read (@jonoread) October 3, 2016
The honesty didn’t end there with Jonas also admitted he had a tattoo of a ram above his penis. Something that shocked Millie so much that she didn’t hear him finish his sentence where he told her not to let their kids know. Look out for Jonas coming to a show like tattoo fixers one day I the future.
Jonas also claims to have slept with over a hundred girls, making someone with fuck boy tendencies an ideal date for Ruby who had been in the restaurant looking for one earlier in the programme.
Did you see the way Milly and waiter Sam looked at each other? #firstdates pic.twitter.com/AcmDHfoKAV
— Jono Read (@jonoread) October 3, 2016
Throughout the episode it became clear Millie wasn’t into Jonas as much as she was the First Dates waiter Sam. Therefore, a second date wasn’t on the cards, and the two disappeared into the moonlight alone. That was until the very end. We found out Milly returned later in the evening, successfully bagging herself Sam’s mobile number, and a kiss too. The two remain tight lipped about what happened, judging by the hints from Fred, I suspect we’ll hear more in a future episode in the series.
Next time on First Dates
Next time in the First Dates restaurant it’s the return of Miss Stacey. Yes it’s Welsh wonder Marie, and from the preview it promises to be a completely different date to the last one. Watch this on Channel 4 on Monday evening at the later time of 10.35pm.
Watch more First Dates on catch-up on All4, and read more reviews of this series of First Dates on my blog. If Naked Attraction is your bag, try my interview with a contestant from Series 2.
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